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Ceteris Paribus by Clare Fisher Psychotherapist

empowerholistic

Updated: Jul 16, 2024



All things being equal I am going to my first adult ballet class tomorrow.


I live with a dynamic chronic illness which subjects me to a multitude of challenging variables within my life, therefore all things are rarely equal.

I often struggle with this reality, but my internal struggle is insignificant in comparison to the struggles that it can evoke in others.


I think the struggle is hardest for the fixers uppers, the problem solvers and the project managers amongst us, who believe most health conditions can be addressed through therapy, positive mindsets, healthy eating, physical activity,  sleep, drinking water, yoga and multivitamins. Whilst I agree that all these wonderful things are beneficial and can improve my condition, they will not and cannot cure me. This is not just my truth it is a clinical diagnosis, but often I am told that if I believed, was consistent in my approach and wanted it enough, then I would be cured. I truly wish that this solution was open to me.


Others who I consider are less aware of hidden disabilities, often believe that my dynamic chronic illness is a falsehood, an excuse, an exaggeration, an opportunity to be overly dramatic and a demonstration of my weak lack of resilience.

  

Both camps of perspective struggle with the conundrum that on an hourly basis the limits of my condition can change from me being immobile to then sashaying down the street.


I am hyper-aware that people will notice that one day I might be limping on the right and then the next day my limp favours the left. Coincidentally my mood can be dully low and then change up to being gregarious, which I admit must be a tad confusing.


So if you see me ballet dancing on occasion, please focus on the positive and join me in the joyful moments this life can provide.


For Information - In simple terms, an invisible disability is a physical, mental, or neurological condition that is not visible from the outside, yet can limit or challenge a person’s movements, senses, or activities. Unfortunately, the very fact that these symptoms are invisible can lead to misunderstandings, false perceptions, and judgments.



Update - I didn't go! a mixture of no sleep the night before and the constant changing of plans during the day lowered my ability to people in a new situation.



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