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I was never a good enough school pupil; even in senior school I couldn’t tell the time, didn’t know my left from my right, couldn’t follow instructions, couldn’t spell, couldn’t remember my times tables and had no clue about remembering facts. I was miserable at school, I did not understand the lessons, the structure, the rules and the social norms. I was branded a misfit, lazy, stupid, a day dreamer and a weird Goth.
The out of school side of me loved nature, spent hours standing/swimming/ kayaking in streams, the sea, rivers and lochs. I enjoyed my time in wild fields, climbing hills and roaming in woods. I caught newts, trout with my hands, stickle backs , frogs, toads, pond skaters, caterpillars, butterflies and crickets. I catalogued plants, collected fruit from hedgerows, sat in trees, jumped in mud patches and explored lichen and moss on old stone walls. I studied the theory of music, played instruments in an orchestra and rode horses. I cared for my grandmother and we loved spending our time together.
I was lucky!
My self-worth and self-esteem wasn’t tied into a school system that categorised, pigeon holed and judged me as less than. I knew that I did not fit into the school world and it made me sad, but I had the benefit of alternative out of school happy world in which I thrived. In spite of my negative school experience I didn’t limit myself and went on to gain a Bachelor of Arts Degree and a Master’s of Science.
But, other people are not so lucky!
If we are constantly told in every aspect of our lives that we are stupid, clumsy, worthless, weird, strange, too thick or too thin, unattractive, too extra, too shy – these labels can stick and we can believe that the judgement of others reflect who we are. This can lead us to take a negative inner monologue with us into our adult lives. We may internally speak to ourselves in a critical, biased and unkind voice, which can induce our brains to activate our fight-flight response causing us to suffer from anxiety, poor self-worth and low self-esteem. This can stop us meeting our full potential and living our best authentic lives.
Ask yourself would you ever talk to a friend, your partner, your child in the way in which you negatively talk to yourself? I bet the answer is absolutely and emphatically NO!!! so why are you treating yourself so unkindly and believing people's negative judgmental comments ?
‘In a world where you can be anything, be kind’
Please be kind and non-judgmental towards others, don’t label them and please, please afford yourself the same courtesy.