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KENOUGH by Clare Fisher Psychotherapist

Updated: Apr 7

How would you describe yourself? awesome, Intelligent or even leng.

Or would your prose be less positive?

Most of us think that we are; ordinary, of borderline intellect and possess average looks.

If we are in a generous mood, we may consider ourselves to be all-rounders, good at most things but not extraordinary at anything.

Like many of us, I have never been the best at anything, I have always perceived myself as average, nothing out of the ordinary just one of the many in the crowd.

I have cast my net wide and tried many activities from painting pictures to vaulting over the high jump Fosbury flop style. I have never won awards, been celebrated for my acumen or enjoyed the rapture of applause for my efforts.

Even in the egg and spoon race on school sports day, I was awarded a yellow participation sticker instead of the highly prized green winners' sticker.

I have always put in the effort and the time to develop my skills, but I have never excelled to a state of excellence – I often reach my glass ceiling, through which I can observe that the grass appears to be greener.

Through the translucent glass barrier, the 'grass is greener syndrome' creates envy of the perfectly uniform green blades, the thick foliage, and a lush-looking carpet which one can only imagine smells fresh and feels so soft underfoot.

So of course we would covet it, why wouldn't we?

Not to be a killjoy, but the desired grass might turn out to be fake, lack aroma and be ecologically suspect in its unnatural nature. The seemingly perfect grass may be plushily greener, but may not be conducive to maintaining a healthy personal ecosystem.

I wonder if those on the seemingly right side of the glass ponder what the sweet-smelling patchy grass on the other side feels like under their tippy toes?

Dysphoria may work both ways!

So if our modus operandi is to negatively compare ourselves to others, I would ask you to consider if the 'grass is greener' juxtaposition is comparable.

Is the grass greener on the other side?

Is everyone whom we consider to be more talented, more aesthetically pleasing, more intelligent, and more accomplished, actually living the metaphorical dream? After all a dream is simply an imaginary fictional story of our making that we tell ourselves.

In truth, the grass may be green on both sides and the only person that you need to compare yourself to is you!

If you believe yourself to be awesome then that's exactly what you are and if you believe yourself to be average then that's precisely what you are. It's all a matter of perception and a truth controlled by you.

If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right." Henry Ford

If you desire to be a data scientist like the rest of your family, but have dyscalculia (even though Rishi made you learn maths until you were 18), then trying to compete and break through the glass ceiling to get to the grass on the other side may be futile, unfulfilling and ultimately depressing. Let it go and follow another seemingly less aspirational path to your own patch of green grass. Freeing yourself to follow a different even unconventional path, may ultimately be more fulfilling as you are Kenough!

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